How is marriage an independent choice?
Is marriage still appropriate?
by Barbara Ludwig
Do we want or should we get married?
The fact is, marriage is still a social constraint. The spouses should live together until the end of their days.
But is man made for it? In all likelihood not. There is more than enough evidence everywhere.
Marriages are made and broken. One of the causes is the growing independence and independence of women through education and paid work.
The word spouse says a lot about the meaning of a marriage: The purpose is to father offspring and to protect the family.
Once that has been done, the marriage is actually over if the material and legal conditions created by the respective social and cultural circumstances did not determine the situation.
The divorces increase from year to year, although we have a free choice of partner. So the fire goes out so quickly because it is just a flash in the pan that is mistaken for love. Real, real love has a hard time winning both hearts for each other for all of their lives.
But she doesn't even make it that seldom. Nothing can break the bond of their marriage. Seen in this way, a written marriage contract would be unnecessary. They just suffice to be in writing.
The marriage alliance is first and foremost an economic union that aims to ensure stability and security. Mankind has created an order for itself, not only for mutual economic security, but also because of the uninhibited passion of sexual instincts, which can be largely controlled through a firm bond.
No question about it: a constant, loving connection makes a lot of sense for a harmonious life. Especially when children complete the partnership.
Children deserve special consideration and are beyond the scope of this article.
The following should be clarified: Is a written contract to seal the marriage necessary? A stable marriage-like relationship does the same thing, doesn't it? Basically there is no need, but church and state hold on to the perhaps already outdated, traditional form and attach material and legal advantages to it.
First of all, a marriage contract has nothing to do with love. But love should never be missing, otherwise its fulfillment will turn into a nightmare. Then rights and duties will never be matters of the heart, but tribulations. Such a marriage becomes a lie, because in our world, it is said, love is a prerequisite for a marriage covenant.
Only then does the material security rank. Unfortunately, many confuse love with sexual passion. Then after the first intoxication, what should belong together grows apart.
The formation of a couple is a need, but marriage, even the cohabitation, must not be idealized because it can perish. Looking reality in the eye is always more valuable than blinding yourself. Otherwise, in most cases, sooner or later the break will occur.
There are marriages that seem to last because the married couple outwardly make them believe that they understand each other, but are basically indifferent to each other. Often times they are too comfortable to go through the hassle of breaking up their marriage. There is also a lot of fear of violence and the loss of property and money, because marriage and the family are tied to private property.
So would you prefer a marriage-like community? Then the state and the church hardly have an opportunity to impose regulations on the couple. It is largely independent, but it must also be ready to recognize severely restricted rights.
It's hard to make the right decision. It seems best to first lead a so-called "wild marriage", to examine it and, if suitable, to marry. The fire is then mostly extinguished, but lovable, friendly, respectful interaction is more important, it promotes mental equilibrium and gives security in all situations.
Marry or not marry, it will go wrong.
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