It's pointless to have fun

How do I find out what I enjoy?

Elena  📅 25.03.2011 20:31:55
How do I find out what I enjoy?
The subject sounds a bit stupid, but I'm trying to describe the situation. I'm serious, please believe!

Since childhood, everyone has been enthusiastic about hobbies and things that you enjoy doing. I never did any sport in a club or played an instrument. My life consists only of school, school, and school again. My parents never encouraged me, they always believed that education was the most important thing, and that I was never allowed to do other things.

Now I feel 1. totally useless because I can't do anything (neither an instrument nor a sport) 2. don't enjoy anything. It doesn't have to be sporty. Can also be other little things. I don't even laugh anymore, I don't enjoy myself.

How do I find out what makes me happy, what I enjoy ...
I don't want to try everything senselessly
Crazy  📅 26.03.2011 00:00:01
Re: How do I find out what I enjoy?
Sounds just as stupid now, but check out some trivial book that people put in drawers. For me it was about zodiac signs back then. There you will then find a catalog of supposed personality traits. Fuck what the book associates with you. My advice is just to go through the catalog from start to finish. Only then do you think about which drawer you would be most likely to sort yourself into, and perhaps also which drawer you would draw friends, colleagues, bedmates or life companions from (seldom identical).

If you have then classified your preferences globally (e.g. freedom or warmth or success or restructuring), then it may be easier for you to recognize everyday things that add value to your life. These can be very mundane things, such as the way to university (freedom / movement / nature) or sitting together in the cafeteria (social issues) or making the bed (warmth of the bed).

The beginning is to be more aware of such things. That alone can be worth more than a hobby.

This conscious perception then gives rise to ideas that you have certainly already had several times, but that may have seemed far removed from life to you. The way to university can turn into a passion for cars, flying or cycling. Club clinking can turn from the cafete. In extreme cases, the bedding can become interior design. Or or or ...

The passions that grow in this way do not have to become hobbies. They can also make the organization of your studies and your job so pleasant that you will find lasting fulfillment in it. You will find a way that suits you.

But don't put yourself under time pressure. For me, the process took many years.

I still don't have any hobbies. My studies were great, and at the moment I have a job and family. But I know very well, for example, what I would do first if I suddenly found myself a widowed early retiree.

What I have described is a look inside the self. Some call what you feel on a trip like that "God". Appropos, SMD or ElQaida terror camp are good examples of this. For the more extreme selves.
Elena  📅 26.03.2011 19:38:05
Re: How do I find out what I enjoy?
Thank you for your answers. You understood me

I don't want to blame everything on my parents, but it's not normal to forbid everything! I feel talentless because of them. It annoys me when they admire others who have talent and then hit it off: Great, wow, etc. I used to be so jealous of others at school when they said what they did over the weekend. That they went cycling or hiking with their parents etc. Knows that it sounds ridiculous, but the truth is that I felt lousy. These children were happier than me too.

And now I feel as if I haven't lived since kindergarten to college or missed so much and such a boring, unfulfilled, unhappy life ...
Nothing gives me pleasure.
D.H.A.  📅 26.03.2011 19:51:23
Re: How do I find out what I enjoy?
Then it will be time for you to study and get out of your current environment. Or what do you want to do "quickly" differently now?

Edited 1 time. Last on 03/26/11 8:08 PM.
Anonymous  📅 26.03.2011 20:06:12
Re: How do I find out what I enjoy?
Exactly, see it now as a new beginning! Find a subject that interests you and move out. And then look for a nice hobby
Elena  📅 26.03.2011 22:08:07
Re: How do I find out what I enjoy?
I'm already studying. I think you got me wrong. I wanted to say that my life so far only consisted of school, learning, studying and that is why I never had fun in life and missed a lot (free time)

Because most of the time you live the way your parents show you. When I started something, they always slowed me down. I get soooo neck thinking about it. I wasn't even allowed to meet friends! It's not normal. They made me a couch potato. I didn't have any friends because of them. They probably thought that if I only concentrate on school, I would be successful. But it's a joke. You also have to learn to be social or other qualities that you need if you want to be successful and not just academic performance ... Everyone needs variety.

I now really see this as a new beginning and will change that. We have a guitar at home that nobody plays. I'll start with that
you are grown-up  📅 26.03.2011 22:37:29
Re: How do I find out what I enjoy?
if that annoys you and you know it now, you can change it. or you let it rest on the fact that you have not done anything in the past and therefore it will not work in the future either.
Crazy  📅 26.03.2011 23:26:37
Re: How do I find out what I enjoy?
You did not miss anything. The past is the past. Today you are strong in your studies and more sensitive than others to the so-called work-life balance. A pick on the guitar will be better for you than for others ... what do I know? ... a thousand pairs of shoes. Don't slow yourself down with your whining. You live not yesterday and not tomorrow, but now.
Otta  📅 31.07.2013 16:17:48
Re: How do I find out what I enjoy?

maybe a little late my answer But who knows, maybe it will help someone .... I ended up here because I entered on Google "how do I find out what I enjoy?", Because I am asking myself this question.

The entry from 03/26/2011 19:38:05 when Elena wrote:
"... I don't want to blame everything on my parents, but it's not normal to forbid everything! ..." etc. reminds me of my situation and that's why I write.

I found out through psychokinesiology from an alternative practitioner that I carry the negative belief "Everything is forbidden" with me. My mother was very strict and because I wasn't allowed to do anything, I also developed into a couch potato.

I've started to watch myself: When do I forbid what? When do I put pressure on myself to do things? It takes practice and I keep forgetting about it. But I think it's worth it. So my advice, which I give myself right away is:

1. Take the pressure off - as already mentioned in the second answer to "Durchgeknallt": Observe yourself and take your time to find out where YOU are putting yourself under pressure - that most likely does not have to be!

2. Observe when you forbid yourself to do something. E.g. giving yourself a necklace just like that - for no reason - not as a reward, not for any occasion, just ONLY THAT, can bring joy of life - it's just FUN. Start with little things: E.g. you HAVE to write your semester thesis, but you don't make any progress at all. Going to the cinema would be great, but you MUST NOT. Shut down your PC and just go to the cinema. The next day it will definitely be easier.

3. "Every time we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we follow our destiny" - from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Observe here too. Whenever you notice something is very easy and simple and you could do it for hours, do it. It doesn't have to be grandiose. It doesn't have to be an instrument or a sport. It can be meet up with friends or sit in a cafe and read a crime novel or bake cakes or try a new recipe ...

Once you have reconnected with something that brings you joy - no matter which social. Status or what importance it supposedly has in your opinion (we usually just imagine the "values" anyway) - and make sure that you do a little thing every now and then that brings you joy, then you get into the flow and you always find more what you enjoy.

So, wonderful, I enjoyed that Priority. Helped me well in answering you Elena

Best wishes
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