What is jealousy, love, insecurity, or both

Fighting jealousy: This is how you get rid of the excruciating feeling

Forms of jealousy

Films and series have given us a very dramatic picture of jealousy. In reality, jealousy usually has little to do with stalking, brutal acts of revenge or mountains of laundry that fly out of the window. Jealousy can be very different. Dr. Wolfgang Kr├╝ger, psychotherapist and author from Berlin, distinguishes between three forms of jealousy1.

Slight jealousy

Most people have probably already experienced the mild form of jealousy. It only occurs occasionally and mostly relates to specific situations. For example, when he meets with his ex. You actually know that there is nothing to worry about, but there is still this uncomfortable feeling in the stomach. Most of the time, the worries evaporate quickly without putting any great strain on the relationship or the partner. This form of jealousy is still considered healthy.

Medium jealousy

It is different with the middle form of jealousy. The affected person feels a permanent feeling of worry here. Even the smallest occasion is enough to arouse uncertainty: a casual conversation with the neighbor, a long phone call with a colleague. Incidentally, this often conceals self-doubt and low self-esteem.

Severe jealousy

With the massive form of jealousy, the whole thing increases again: You are permanently jealous. Every behavior of the loved one is observed with suspicion, the most normal situation is blamed for infidelity. Secretly checking WhatsApp messages and e-mails as well as spying on them can be part of this. In this case, jealousy is very pronounced and is difficult to justify rationally.

Men and women are jealous differently

When it comes to jealousy, men and women are very different. According to David M. Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas, this is evolutionary. According to this, men are especially afraid of sexual infidelity, while women are emotionally jealous - they are afraid that their partner could fall in love again. Evolutionary biologists generally assume that jealousy is in our genes. Men have wanted to make sure that their genetic makeup is passed on from time immemorial. Women or mothers, on the other hand, want their child to receive the necessary care from the father.